Dell are taking me to Cannes! To be precise, they're taking me out to the annual Dell EMEA Product Showcase (EMEA is an unlovely and rather soppy marketing term you see on business cards meaning Europe, Middle East and Africa -- or Eventually Might Escape to America). Dell is normally the beat of reviews supremo Charles McLellan, but he's on his hols so I get to wave the flag. What I don't realise until too late is that attending is dependent on signing a truly enormous non-disclosure agreement: the vast majority of Products Showcased are not to be launched until various dates in the future, and thus I cannot write about them now.
Which is a bit frustrating, but we're all going to have to be patient. Each product sits on a big list of secret things with its own date, after which beans can be spilled and cats debagged. My favourite member of that list was one which, despite much deep thought, I couldn't remember being mentioned even a little bit. "Ah, no," said the PR. "That was going to be here, but isn't now" -- and she gave a reason which I'm sure I can't disclose. "But what was it going to be?" I asked. There then followed a period of intense thought: normally, we're told about things that exist and the NDA makes us pretend they don't. This time, it didn't exist. Can an NDA cover something that isn't there?
I would tell you the conclusion of that philosophical conundrum but... ah, you're there already. Watch this space. But don't tell anyone I told you.