A recent addition to Apple's Mac advertising campaign features Mac guy speaking to "fat Windows." Windows complains about coming pre-loaded with a bunch of "trialware" applications that he doesn't need, and he has to go on the Operating System equivalent of a diet before the system is usable. Mac guy counters that he doesn't have that problem, as he only comes with software that people want, like iPhoto, Garage Band and iTunes. That's kind of funny, as I wasn't aware that people ONLY wanted Apple software.
But, fair play to Apple, as the ad campaign does its job quite well. Apple wants to spin fewer software options, or the fact that not many third party companies are beating down Apple's door to get themselves preinstalled in the first place (even if Apple would let them), into a competitive advantage.
Equally fair would be a Microsoft counter advertisement. So, included for your reading pleasure is a proposed response to Apple's ad campaign. If I was involved in Microsoft's marketing department, I'd want to see something like this. So, Microsoft, I do work for you, I live in Los Angeles, and I'm a crackerjack HD camera operator.
Mac guy drives his car into the driveway of an apartment building. He is well dressed in expensive designer clothes, and the car is an expensive-looking luxury vehicle (juxtaposition to his real life, implying a tendency to buy flashy things). Before exiting the car, he pops the hood, then walks around to the back and opens the trunk. He retrieves a small, brightly colored box. He walks around to the front of the car, lifts the hood to a locked position, and opens the box. Inside are a hammer, a screw driver, a wrench, and a single socket from a socket wrench set (visual touch: the handle of each tool is decorated with flowers). Pan back for a shot of the engine, which clearly can't be fixed with that selection of tools.
Windows guy drives his car into a driveway of a house (versus an apartment). His car doesn't look as fancy as Mac guy's car, but is something more functional...say a Volkswagon. He, too, pops the hood of his car, then walks around to the back and opens the trunk. Oddly, he steps into the trunk, and the camera rises to reveal a set of stairs that descends into the ground (it's a magic trunk, but you can do that in video). We follow him down and find ourselves in a very large warhehouse filled with tools. We dolly alongside him as aisles marked with names specifying categories of tools scroll by. He stops at a row labeled "socket wrenches," and the camera moves in to reveal an impossibly long aisle featuring all shapes and sizes of socket wrenches and attachments.
CUT TO PANEL:
Windows: More Options
Microsoft (the logo)
[NOTE: Thanks to j.m. galvin who gave me ideas as to how I could tune things]