So thinking about it, this really isn't the best time to be writing and handing in essays, especially considering the lecturers marking your work will be just as smashed as you are. Instead, I've come up with some handy excuses from around the web and my own misfitted mind for the worst most ridiculous best excuses not to hand in your work.
If you have any more, feel free to share. Enjoy whichever holiday you celebrate (we live in a very diverse, multi-cultural society after all) and will continue writing after Christmas through and after the New Year.