Rupert Goodwins' Diary

Wednesday 3/12/2003
Cap Gemini Ernst & Young: An Apology

Last month, I wrote a short piece about Cap Gemini Ernst & Young's new enterprise project management system, Event Driven Package Implementation. Today, my long-suffering editor gets a call from CGE&Y expressing great displeasure that we should publish such a thing. "We're worried that it's losing us sales!" says the displeased voice. "You can't just say things like that!". "Why, what did we get wrong?" we asked. "Happy to fix any errors of fact."

So while we're waiting for CGE&Y to get back to us on those, here are some preliminary corrections and apologies to make up for causing that fine body of men and women so much unnecessary angst.

* Rupert Goodwins' Diary is NOT a guide to major enterprise-level investment strategies. If you are reading this in a board meeting of a major corporation prior to signing off on a seven-figure infrastructure spend, stop it at once. You're confusing the straights.

* CGE&Y is NOT a 1970s progressive rock band, nor did it record that seminal hit "Almost Cut My Invoiced Hours".

* Consultants are NOT people bent on extracting "money for evanescent drivel… balderdash, witless meandering, expensive heaps of steaming offal disguised as prime steak", as I mistakenly wrote last time. They are hard-working mages of the information age, with far better things to do with their time than phone up and complain about satirical rants.

* EDPI is NOT merely a reinvention of the meeting. It's ludicrously expensive, to boot.

We really are most awfully sorry.