Rumours are circulating of the next iPod, which will squeeze 60 gigabytes of hard disk into the existing package and top it off with a full colour screen. The beast also has video out: it's designed to be a portable repository for digital photographs so you can show everyone your holiday snaps either on the screen of the unit itself or through their telly.
But, the rumours continue, the video iPod doesn't have a memory card slot -- so if you want to move your pictures from your camera to your portable storage device, you'll either have to lug a laptop around with you or the slightly clumsy Belkin adaptor that does the same job, How inelegant.
That's not enough to make me want to upgrade. No, I want more. New Scientist this week talked about a new combined body scanner and projector which locates your internal bits and then projects them onto your skin. This was designed to help doctors find veins for injections -- speaking as a man with a needle phobia and very hard-to-find blood vessels, I can only applaud this invention -- but clearly has many other uses.
And that's what I want in my video iPod, a built-in X-ray machine. I want to be able to photograph my internal squidgy bits. It'd also be useful for finding hidden pipework in walls, spotting the chocolate bar with the million-pound prize, working out which chair the keys have fallen behind, and finding the truth when fellow journalists complain of impoverishment at the pub.
You're supposed to be innovative, clever and far-sighted, Apple. You know what I want. Deliver.