The Geek of Christmas present(s)

Up here in the Great White North, Microsoft has been running a bunch of radio advertisements with the theme of "Gifts for Geeks." The premise is that every computer hobbyist you can think of has been secretly dreaming of getting, for Christmas, their own copy of Windows 98.

Not.

Come on! We all know by now that real geeks are some of the worst Microsoft haters. Does Microsoft even have an equivalent to Slashdot?

People use Microsoft products because they have to; the application they're running needs it, it's mandated by the company, or some such thing. Microsoft has been incredibly good at making software that is "good enough," software just barely tolerable enough to keep users from rebelling. Given the choice, would a real geek want Encarta under the tree?

I don't think so.

In light of this, allow me to suggest what I consider a useful selection of gifts for the real geek in your life (especially the Linux geek):

Books and magazines
Reading material is always a safe, if kinda boring, bet. There are a ton of Linux books out there and more are coming. A couple that catch the eye this season are:

• The book version of the inside-joke-laden User Friendly comic strip.
• "Open Sources," an interesting collection of the various points of view that help make up the free software spectrum.
• For the real hard core geek who administers Linux systems and has very little sense of humor, try something like "Maximum Linux Security: A Hacker's Guide to Protecting Your Linux Server and Workstation."
• Maybe even better is a magazine subscription to Linux Journal, Linux Magazine, or (if you have a multi-OS geek) Sys Admin. Each offers your geek a year's worth of good reading.

Fun stuff
It's amazing how much geeks really go for toys, trinkets and other such accessories, the kind that are given away at trade shows or can be bought online. For instance:

• The best collection I know of is at LinuxMall. Owner Mark Bolzern can sometimes get more worked up over the quality of his stuffed penguins than one would consider safe. But I guess someone needs to care.
• I also notice that Linux Central still sells the tie-dyed t-shirts from this year's Atlanta Linux Showcase. I really like mine.
• And lastly are two more sites, NerdGear and ThinkGeek, selling everything from the mandatory t-shirts to fridge magnets.

Software
In the open source world, most of the best software is downloadable freeware, so there aren't too many commercial software packages with deep geek appeal. But here are a few that stand out:

• For both the young geek and the young at heart, there are always games, and some of the most intense stuff isn't freeware. Loki's Myth II is fairly fresh, and Quake 3 just started shipping. By lunchtime Christmas Day your geek can be happily blasting away.
• For the older geek, or one who just wants to play with the rich, buy a copy of Oracle 8i for Linux for $89, a pittance compared to the several thousand dollar price tags on traditional Oracle. Maybe it just tickles me that this product even exists; had anyone said to me a year ago that you'd be able to buy a "box of Oracle" retail, let alone under $100, I don't know how long it would have taken me to stop laughing.

Share shares
Given the current Linux business climate, you can always give stock in a Linux company as a gift. Even though some may consider it overpriced, there's certainly some geek value in boasting that you have a piece of Red Hat, Cobalt Networks, VA Linux Systems, or possibly even The Linux Fund.

Hardware
When it comes to hardware, most geeks like to choose their own. But there are a few pieces of equipment that any geek would certainly love to find under the Christmas tree:

• A good CD-Recordable drive would never hurt. Few systems come with one, but now that so many downloadable distributions just come as CD images, it would be nice to be able to burn your own.
• The Atipa Penguin Case. 'Nuff said.

More than a present
If you're feeling philanthropic, or the geek in your life already has all the material possessions they need, you can always give a real penguin a home. Since a bunch of guys in Britain sponsored a penguin at the Bristol Zoo in 1997 as a gift to Linus Torvalds, you might want to consider doing the same. Many zoos have "adopt an animal" programs; for instance The Perth Zoo in Australia, and Utah's Hogle Zoo and the North Eastern Wisconsin Zoo in the U.S.

Along a similar vein, you might consider making a donation in the recipient's name to the Free Software Foundation or Software in the Public Interest.

And last but not least, if your Linux geek is into penguins (and I know they are), then you have to check out television's biggest penguin star: Pingu. This Swiss-made claymation-type children's series is enjoyed worldwide. Videos are not easy to come by, but are worth looking for. Check out The Character Warehouse for Pingu merchandise.

So there. You have more than enough to go with. There's no reason for you to give Microsoft products to make your favorite geek happy this coming Christmas morning. Happy shopping!

What are you getting your geek for Christmas? Let us know in the Talkback below or the ZDNet Linux Forum. Or write to Evan directly at evan@starnix.com.