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Look, I could do one of those big long lists, with 20 or so different reasons why you should sit tight with the phone you have, but you and I both know that if you're reading this, you're already a little hooked.
So, let's consider this an intervention and let's save you from iPhone 5 phone-ageddon. Here are five quick reasons not to buy an iPhone 5 (at least, for now):
Reason 1: You'll have to buy all new accessories
The odds are that if you're considering an iPhone 5, you already have an iPhone. You probably also have an iPad. All the accessories for both of them fit the dock connector that Apple has used for years. But, now Apple has introduced a new dock connector that's not compatible with, well, anything.
That means you'll have to buy all new accessories, from chargers to car adapters. Plus, some accessories may not make the jump to the new connector or might not be licensed by Apple for the new connector.
Reason 2: You'll have to buy an ungainly dock adapter
So, let's say you want to use your old accessories. Each dock adapter you want -- just so you can use your old stuff -- will set you back $29.
That's not too much to spend to have your cake and eat it, too, until you realized that adapters are often unreliable, some accessories won't be supported, and the frankendock won't look all that pretty next to your svelte new iPhone 5.
Reason 3: LTE is far from universal
I know you want 4G or LTE for super-fast connectivity. Unfortunately, despite the carriers' advertising, LTE isn't everywhere. And some carriers (I'm talking about you, AT&T!) even stretch the truth, sticking 4G icons on top of old 3G services.
Yes, my iPhone 4S has lipstick on that particular pig.
The point is, you may think you're getting 4G or LTE, but in vast areas of the United States, LTE simply means Lots To Envy 'cause LTE ain't available.
Oh, and if you do get LTE, watch out for those usage plans. Once you start actually, you know, using LTE, you'll run out of bits incredibly quickly or pay through the nose for overage charges.
Reason 4: The larger display will make many apps look bad
So, now developers have three, no four, no...five display sizes to code for. There's the original iPhone display, there's the iPhone Retina display, there's the original iPad display, there's the Retina iPad display, and now there's the stretched out iPhone display.
Sure, eventually apps will be updated for the new display, but not for a while. You may have a sexier iPhone to show off, but the apps running on it will look like they were designed for knock-off phones.
Reason 5: You still have months on your contract
Yes, I know. Many of you want the iPhone 5 because it's the newest thing from the Mothership. But almost all of you still have months left on your contract.
Why give all sorts of penalty and cancellation fees -- or eat the months -- to those nasty carriers? Practice a little patience, wait a few months, and get an iPhone 5 once your plan runs out.
Besides, by then we'll know whether or not the iPhone 5 user volume will kill what little 4G/LTE is available, app vendors will have time to update their apps, and dock vendors can retool after having been blessed by Cupertino.
The bottom line is quite simple: you don't need an iPhone 5. Practice some level of self control.
Oh, and besides, it turns out Nokia makes a nicer display, anyway.