Fury Friday: 'Facebook down, there's nothing to do'

Fury Friday: I'll be jumping on the soapbox each Friday and letting rip into the things of the week that have annoyed the living daylights out of me. This week: the inevitable panic when Facebook goes down.
Written by Zack Whittaker, Contributor

Every Friday, I'll be jumping on the soapbox and letting rip into the things of the week that have annoyed the living daylights out of me. Think of a dumbed down version of Peter Griffin’s 'Grind my Gears'.


There are too many stories today about the Facebook outage yesterday, because an overzealous intern pushed something through before it was ready. At least some of us took advantage of it.

But come on. Surely you are not that hooked on the site, are you? If I can manage two days without a desktop computer, let alone a month without broadband in my house, you can go for half an hour without being plugged into the Facebook mainframe.

Just in case it happens again, here are just a few things you can consider doing without Facebook.

  • Enjoy the freedom. Go outside and experience sunlight for the first time in five years.
  • Start an Amish Facebook by getting a barrel, place it in the town center and pop a piece of paper in there with a note about how giggly you are feeling at that particular time of day.
  • Tweet your disgust, and see how mad other people are getting.
  • Print out a thumbs-down graphic and post them on telegraph poles all around your neighbourhood.
  • Spend time with friends and family in person. I'm sure they've missed you.
  • Organise a flashmob.
  • Kick start an anti-virus scan. I bet it's been a while, hasn't it? 
  • Get three other friends dressed up in the Four Horsemencostumes and when asked, claim that you are waiting for Mark Zuckerberg to get there.
  • Panic because you know your FarmVille crops are withering.
  • Bake a blackbird pie, but don't be leaving it on the windowsill.
  • Poke someone in real life.
  • Write on someone's wall, literally, and see how mad they get at you.

Just a few suggestions. Any more you can think of?


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