At Honeywell our quest is quality! (MP3)
This is an absolute gem. As befits a company pushing the boundaries of technology, Honeywell has achieved the highest number of clichés-per-minute of any anthem we have yet heard. With one utter clunker in every single line, it is hard to imagine how any song could ever beat its cringe-factor.
And unbelievably, this one has a tune to match, with the earnestness and soaring harmonies of an evangelical church chorus. All the details are right, including the understated use of drum-machines, and the last chorus chord-change. Don't miss the ennui dripping from the lips of the main female singer, and one of the male singers' Kermit-like mumble on the phrase "let's all make tomorrow better than today".
"We find it deeply moving," say our friends at Honeywell. "Kind of makes you want to join hands and sway back and forth."
An impressive number of people sent this in, most of them telling us that it had been produced to commemorate the merger of Honeywell's industrial controls division with Allied Signal in 1999. These people are wrong -- the song actually dates back to the early 1990s.
"It was never officially circulated in the company, says one friend. "My guess is that someone paid big bucks for a consultant to generate a unifying theme song and then wised-up at the last minute when they heard the results."
Wrong again. The truth is that the song had nothing to do with cynical consultants, but sprang from the genuine enthusiasm of a working engineer in the industrial controls division. We would love to hear from him.
And we can reveal, too, that the song has now been used within Honeywell at an event. We supplied the MP3.
As usual, any more information, and any more anthems, please send them to corpanthems@zdnet.co.ukLyrics
Working t'ward tomorrow The future is ours to hold A history we're proud of Inventions new and bold With excellence our hallmark Integrity in our name At Honeywell, we're family, Throughout the world the same!
Showing pride and confidence With customers every day A partnership in business Builds trust along the way Working all together In everything we do The future of our company Depends on me and you
Our vision is one Honeywell The future we can see We band together, spirits high At Honeywell, our quest is qualiteeeee!
Investing in our future Learning from our past Finding ways to grow, within A world that's changing fast Let's all make tomorrow Better than today At Honeywell we'll do the job We'll find a better way!
Our vision is one Honeywell The future we can see We band together, spirits high At Honeywell, our quest is qualiteeeee!
Our vision is one Honeywell The future we can see We band together, spirits high At Honeywell, our quest is qualiteeeee! At Honeywell, our quest is qualiteeeee!
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