I don't know what's got into Microsoft lately.
Perhaps Tim Cook has been sending derogatory texts to Satya Nadella.
Perhaps there's been some peculiar shortfall in sales targets.
Whatever it might be, Microsoft is straining every sinew to snarl, scoff, and spit at Apple's products.
Microsoft continued to denigrate the MacBook by referring to it -- somewhat nonsensically -- as the BackBook in another ad.
And now, it's the turn of the iPad Pro to be subjected to Redmond's withering wit.
Oddly, he enjoys the Surface Pro 7 far more.
He explains: "A lot of people wanted me to compare the Microsoft Surface Pro 7 to the iPad Pro."
A lot of people around the world? A lot of people in Microsoft's marketing department? It's unclear.
What radiates, however, is that the iPad Pro is a lamentable dungheap of a gadget that only exists to prop up rich people's egos.
Why, the iPad Pro can't even prop itself up. It has no kickstand. (Well, it does, but you have to buy the keyboard.)
Actually, speaking of that keyboard, it's apparently very, very heavy. This hasn't been my own experience, but perhaps my hands and arms are less sensitive than yours.
Moreover, "with the Surface you have all kinds of ports," says our hero. I looked closely. It seems to have two. One more than the iPad Pro. Which some might find all kinds of exaggeration, however useful a second port might be.
Dongle life is, of course, one of Apple's most putrid creations. This is undoubtedly accurate. Is it enough, though, to switch to a Surface Pro 7?
In essence, our expert explains, the iPad Pro is "just a tablet," while the Surface Pro 7 is your actual computer. An actual computer that costs far less than the iPad Pro, once you buy the keyboard.
Naturally, sides will be taken when faced with such comparisons. Not everyone has the same uses for their machines. Some find that one type of machine simply suits them better than another.
Apple people may claim the iPad Pro is much faster and its Pencil far more efficient and accurate than the Surface's Pen. They may also claim that once you're in Apple's ecosystem, the iPad Pro is an obvious, if expensive, choice.
Equally, the Windows-heavy brigade will naturally gravitate to the Surface Pro 7 for its Windows-friendliness.
But when you kneel inside the confessional and cross yourself, what may lie at the core here?
Is it that Microsoft dislikes how popular the iPad Pro has become? Is it frustrating that the Surface Pro 7 is underappreciated?
Or could there be a certain frisson of fear that, as Apple begins to release more MacBooks and tablets with its own chips, the competition will become even more arduous?