Microsoft's secret technology in danger!

This one was too rich to pass up. Wednesday in an EU antitrust court, Microsoft lawyer Ian Forrester was arguing that the EU's record fine and antitrust ruling should be overturned. During the opening statements he complained:

"[The decision] condemns a company for not saying yes to a competitor who requests a huge amount of valuable, secret future technology. And the remedy is to help anyone with an interest build a replica, a functional equivalent."

I want to know what all this secret technology is! I mean, are we talking cold fusion here, or is it that code that makes Google Desktop Search crash when you use IE7b2? Excuse me Mr. Forrester but nobody is trying to (God forbid) build a replica of Windows here.

"Companies have survived and grown in the servers business despite not having access to the secret details of communication protocols used by Windows servers; and have declined without asking for them."

Aha, the ProClarity acquisition makes much more sense now. They were too close to uncovering those secret communications protocols weren't they? I see. Can't have a competitor performing the same magic as Microsoft, now can we?

"According to the Commission, if the technology is made available, this will change the process of innovation, so that some good things will flow. Of course, it will do that, but just in the same way opening the vaults of a bank will stimulate the prosperity of passersby and good things may flow from that."

I couldn't make up stuff like this folks. For more choice tidbits see these excerpts.