OK, to be fair, I haven't visited Bordentown, New Jersey for about six years. I got married and moved to Florida, and so a town consisting of food, gun shops, surplus stores, strip clubs, and churches doesn't appeal to me all that much.
Bordentown is, to put it mildly, something of a dump. If you're a single guy having a night out with good friends, there's definitely fun to be had there, but Bordentown's not exactly New Jersey's poster child for beauty.
Before you start thinking "What exit?" (most New Jersey residents hate that), Bordentown isn't one of those industrial cities along the Turnpike. Instead, Bordentown is on the edge between rural and suburban, with none of the nicer qualities of either.
If Reno is Nevada's small Las Vegas and then there's that depressing border town with a few slot machines and a truck stop -- Bordentown is that town, except in New Jersey and with no slot machines.
Bordentown is kind of a dive.
Anyway, Bordentown also has a Web site (or, at least it did when I wrote this). The Web site is BordentownMayorReallySucks.com and -- well, the domain name pretty much says it all.
Now, I can't tell you whether or not James E. Lynch Jr. sucks or not. But I can tell you he can't take the heat.
This month, Mayor Lynch was so upset about the Web site that he managed to pass a town council resolution (which passed 2-1 -- yeah, it's that big a town) demanding the Web site be shut down.
Not only does the resolution demand Bluehost (the Web site owner's ISP) take down the site, it also calls for hiring a special attorney to go after the site owners.
Here's how it's all working out for Major Lynch. A Web site that might have had, maybe, 20 visitors, has now been written up in:
This is probably not teaching Mayor Lynch anything about free speech, but it's probably helping him understand the power of bad PR.
By the way, if for some reason you happen to be in Bordentown, the place to stop for food is Mastori's, nestled right between Routes 130 and 206.
If I were to make a top 10 list of things I miss in New Jersey, Mastori's would be on the list. A lot's good, but I nearly lost my soul to their crab-stuffed lobster. Even their burgers are insanely good.
Honestly, rather than hiring special attorneys and trying to shut down citizens exercising their free speech rights, they should just go to Mastori's and break bread together.
Ah, the memories. Man, I sometimes really miss New Jersey!
If you decide to mouth off and criticize New Jersey, well, just know I have friends who can find you. Don' make 'em come find you!