Salutary swimming lessons

When I was kneehigh, my Mum took me on my first visit to the swimming pool. I was very excited. Straight out of the changing room, without a word of warning, I ran to the edge of the pool and jumped in.

Not surprisingly, I sank to the bottom. The lifeguard hauled me out and in floods of tears I berated my Mum with “Why didn’t you tell me I couldn’t swim?!”.

Fast forward 20 years. I was dipping my toe in the gloriously glamorous waters of Desk Top Publishing back in the '80s. Me and my departmental cohorts had been cutting and pasting the departmental magazine using Microsoft Word 2.0. I had the opportunity to use a Professional DTP Package called Ventura. I thought, in my youthful arrogance, that a mastery of Word was a mastery of the World. It would only take me an afternoon to learn the software and produce the magazine.

Ow. I was very wrong and ran back to Word for a caffeine-fuelled night with my tail between my legs.

And now… JavaScript can't be that hard to learn. By Monday. Surely?