They're justified and they're Intel, and they drive an ice cream van

Forget about lawsuits. Never mind about competitive practices, anti-competitive practices, mergers and acquisitions, fair dealing, dodgy dealing, out-spending, out-bidding, out-designing, lobbying, knobbling, distracting, hiring, firing, or any of the other things that companies do while trying to get the edge on their competitors.

Intel has hit on the one tactic that cannot fail. Send an ice cream van to park outside the offices of another company, and announce that there is free ice cream for all.

See the huge line of employees not at their desk. See the harrassed donor of frozen delights trying to cope with Sharon, our office manager, whose every whim is law. See too, if you have exceptionally sharp eyesight, every last scrap of work in the company not being done.

However, I'm not going to tell you what was being promoted. Just because I've been given an ice-cream doesn't mean I've been bought. And anyway, the chimes didn't go "ding-dong ding-DONG". There were no flakes. And when I asked for a dual core, I got given a funny look.

AMD, the summer has yet to start. May I suggest frozen margaritas? Product name mention guaranteed... (although to get a link you'll have to stretch to South Gin martinis, straight up with a twist. That's martinis, the plural of martini.)