In the spirit of balanced tech blogging I had two choices to make before writing my blog today: a) an analysis of the latest Business Process Management tools or b) a fanciful blog that asks the question, “if software companies were movie stars, then which stars would they be?”
Well, it’s Friday and BPM is fun stuff for sure, but let’s stick with the movie star idea shall we? So grab yourself a Westler’s hotdog (available in the foyer), turn off your mobile phone and sneak out your giant sized packet of Maltesers as we find out who the stars of the software application development silver screen are.
Microsoft is Kevin Bacon – crops up in just about everything, fairly popular, but there are still plenty of people who can’t stand the site of him. Don’t forget that for every ‘Flatliners’ (Windows XP) there will be a ‘Footloose’ (Paper-Clip) right?
Sun, (we dearly hope is not) Steve Martin – brilliant in his early career but finally sells out to a commercial end game that is only faintly redolent of his former glory.
Sun, (we hope) is Robert de Niro - Truly adaptable, the method actor of his generation. Just when everyone thought he had gone out to pasture in his later years he still produces a surprisingly solid performance, sometimes he just needs the right people to work with. NB: This is not a suggestion that Larry Ellison is Al Pacino.
Serena is also Robert de Niro - Very adaptable - perhaps too adaptable, since it picked up business mashups and Agile before everyone else in its space. But for all those flashes of brilliance, it doesn't seem to know what to do with them.
Sybase is Tom Cruise - Bit of an upstart to begin with, but has shown flashes of brilliance and surprising depth over the years. Amusingly, I was speaking to Sybase about this idea and they would rather be known as Ron Howard - and I quote, “Both went through a rough point, Ron had trouble transitioning from a childhood star to an adult actor and Sybase had trouble keeping afloat during the database wars.” Both came out stronger in the end though I was told. Of course they did! This is Hollywood after all.
Computer Associates is Sir Ian McKellen - rarely in the limelight, often perceived as somewhat old and doddery. Many people still hold him/it close to their hearts though.
IBM is like Marlon Brando - runs a very tight ship and is liable to make you an offer you feel you can't refuse.
Adobe is like Johnny Depp - Looks good, can turn a hand to any role and in certain areas no one comes close
Linux is Keanu Reeves - Flaky and immature to start with but really has developed nicely and become rather cool.
Thanks to everyone who helped with suggestions for this blog. Coming next, when software application development methodologies are like the England first eleven football squad. Suggestions for Wayne Rooney anybody…?