X
Tech

Kraken, a really ugly beast, is new WHS flagship

I haven't seen Pirates3 but in Pirates 2 I remember a critter called the Kraken, a octopus/squid thing that devoured entire ships. OK, imagine a computer's hard drives being ships.
Written by Xwindowsjunkie , Contributor

I haven't seen Pirates3 but in Pirates 2 I remember a critter called the Kraken, a octopus/squid thing that devoured entire ships. OK, imagine a computer's hard drives being ships. The Kraken in the WHShip eats all of the ships and you have to have one that's as big as 65 really Big Guns or the Kraken stalls. What's interesting though is that if the ship is/are flying the Penguin flag, it can't do anything to the ship, not even wipe it off the ocean!

Sure glad I didn't plan to do anything meaningful this weekend. The Kraken reports he'll be done in 51 minutes but 10 minutes ago, he reported he would be done in 52 minutes. Its definitely a Beta, its got nothing but 50% gray backgrounds (for at least half the time) no attempt at wowing you with pretty wallpaper or color washes.

Kraken says he's only 4 years old and that he has a much bigger brother. He kind of surprised me. He burped twice and then came back flying a much prettier flag but then he said he be done in 39 minutes. I've seen that before many times and I didn't believe it then either!

Kraken's watch isn't a very good one. He thought I wasn't watching when he jumped from 32 minutes to 25 minutes till he's done. What's also very odd is that he keeps saying the exact same 6 or 7 things over and over again. Some of his older siblings have at least 15 to 20 different things to say over and over. He has also been a little confused because he tells me he's one thing then he tells me he's something else. He's kind of a patchwork critter.

He still keeps telling me he's 4 years old but then he decides to tell me he's brand new. hmmmm. But I saw some free stuff being flashed on the the little windows that all ended in 6 instead of 7.

Well Kraken took 1 hour 25 minutes to finish belching and burping. I lost count at 7 or 8 burps. He tells me I have 30 days to turn the key in Davy Jones locker to get 180 days of uninterrupted action. Feels like I'm running an XBOX360 demo game. yipee.

UPDATE am 6-17-2007

Kraken didn't find the 4 year old NIC. Winsta Beta and RC1 did though! We're talking [u]OLD[/u] stuff here. Pretty desktop though, nice integrated console. BUT outside of eating the entire "ship", Kraken can't do anything since he can't hear or talk!!! No wonder the sniffer never caught a whiff of fish. To ripoff Harlan Ellison, "he has no mouth and he must scream!" Big Whoops for the Redmond Gorilla. This little baby Kraken is not ready for the consumer masses, its a geek-toy.

By the way, Kraken's wristwatch is really dumb. Date and Time came up all messed up, looks like it grabbed clock time of build compiler to start the clock.

Kraken also had to run out a moldy fishNET, and like always it took half an hour to self-compile, really annoying. I have a sneaking suspicion that when I fix Kraken's ears and mouth, Kraken and the Gorilla will have a long talk and the old stuff might magically disappear.

Editorial standards