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May the 4th be with you

As this Sunday will be May the 4th, I couldn’t resist the chance to wish all Star Wars fans out there a happy fourth of May – and perhaps ponder what software installations the Millennium Falcon may have been packing had she set sail from Tatooine (I know someone is gonna correct my ropey Star Wars knowledge – so just fill your boots ok?) in 2008.
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Written by Adrian Bridgwater on

As this Sunday will be May the 4th, I couldn’t resist the chance to wish all Star Wars fans out there a happy fourth of May – and perhaps ponder what software installations the Millennium Falcon may have been packing had she set sail from Tatooine (I know someone is gonna correct my ropey Star Wars knowledge – so just fill your boots ok?) in 2008. I know it’s a cheesy old joke, but please go with me for a moment.

Darth'

Image source: msnbcmedia.msn.com

Luke Skywalker: “Well, since I reinstalled Vista on R2-D2 his drivers seem to be unable to work with C-3P0. Now they just won’t talk to each other at all and now I think they’re just sulking.”

Han Solo: “Hmm Luke, you’d have been better with an open source solution, something maverick built at the community level maybe. I’ve installed it across all of Chewbacca’s food vending units and it’s done wonders for his halitosis. Haven’t you noticed the improvement in air quality around here?”

Princess Leia: “Hey, y’know what? I did kind of pick up a hint of minty freshness. Anyway guys, this pan-galactic relational database just sucks, who built this pile of Jabba-junk? I’m trying to extract valuable data on the rebel alliance and I don’t think any of this content has been optimised for search and correctly meta-tagged.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi: “Oh women! Can’t you see that you’re using the old system? Just plug into the new virtualised units and you’ll see that we’re using optimised server storage methodologies that take advantage of (meteor) cloud computing techniques.”

Jabba the Hutt: “Hey, how did I get here, I’m not in this bit! Anyway, use the force Luke and maybe you can surf the net for some Ewok credit card numbers that I can phish up to pay for my next x-86 quadruple pepperoni pizza order.”

Darth Vadar: “You are my son Luke, so, like your father, you must switch to the dark side and come and work with me in signal intelligence tracking at MI5. We’ve got some cool new builds to complete over the next galactic year and I need someone who knows how to get my optical mouse to work properly.”

Chewbacca: “Errrrrrrrrrrrr!!!” (Camera cut to ‘blue screen of death’)

Luke Skywalker: “Quiet everybody, we’ve landed, open the hatch bay doors.”

Everybody: System.out.println(“Hello world!”);

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