The flying flamethrower. Coming to a nasty neighbor near you
A joy, surely.
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Your neighbor's drone has been annoying you, hasn't it?
He likes to fly it around at all hours -- sometimes over your house -- and the buzzing becomes deafening.
Now you know that if you were in Kentucky, a local judge might say that it's perfectly legal to shoot down a drone flying over your property.
But you're a nice person and want everyone to get along.
Now please imagine if your neighbor's drone was mounted with a flamethrower.
I present you with the TF-19 WASP Flamethrower Drone Attachment.
Yes, it's a flamethrower that attaches to a drone and can be fired remotely.
Its makers claim it has a 25 ft.-range, a 1-gallon fuel capacity and, most important to its potential purchasers, 100 seconds of firing time.
Those could, indeed, be the most destructive 100 seconds of your life. Other than spending $1,499 to buy one of these things.
Its creators say it's "designed to reach new heights."
New heights of self-defense, I hear you rejoice.
You see, this isn't the first time someone has considered placing a firing mechanism onto a drone.
Four years ago, a Connecticut youth thought it wise to stick a gun on the end of his drone. It fired, too.
Oh, and then he made a rudimentary flamethrowing drone, one that heated his Thanksgiving turkey.
But this Throwflame purports to be a far more serious device. One that, although it's officially on sale only on Thursday, already appears to be sold out.
I can feel your heart playing the opening bars to Queen's We Will Rock You. Please, then, don't forget that this is just an attachment. You'll have to cobble together your own drone.
Of course, the makers insist that the Throwflame has profound commercial uses -- "bringing new levels of efficiency and manageability to agriculture."
Who am I, a perennial non-farmer, to dispute this?
But imagine if a farmer is angry at a neighbor. Perhaps the neighbor has decided to have a noisy party or has insulted one of the farmer's pigs.
Up goes the Throwflame and down goes the neighborhood.