We have to rage against them, decry them, not allow them into our restaurants, and cross the road if we see them heading our way.
We know how to do this because Android phones and iPhone have represented two vast world armies for many years.
You're Android because you want to personalize your phone -- or you just buy cheap phones. You're iPhone because you're excessively self-regarding, believe the mere sight of an iPhone attracts your target sex, and you're a complete nincompoop when it comes to technology.
Surely, though, one side envies at least a few little things about the other.
A recent Reddit thread elicited the truth about the secret envies Android users harbor for their more glamorous adversaries.
The questioner, a self-proclaimed LG G7 One owner, asked: "What is something you wish Android could do that iPhone can?"
The poster even began with their own observation: "One thing I wish Android has that iPhone does so well is compatibility... iPhones paired with other Apple devices just work instantly and without the need of setting anything up, its almost magic (cliché sounding I'm aware)."
They added that apps "run better on iOS, are released first on iOS, and get updates quicker."
It's a wonder anyone buys an Android phone, isn't it? Those pesky iPhones seem so clever.
Oddly, though, there were more expressions of envy. A strong one was something blindingly simple: The ability to tap the status bar and scroll to the top of the page. I'd always thought everyone did that.
Once the green floodgates were opened, more admissions poured through.
The iPhone's physical silent switch moved some, as did the simple beauty and consistency of iMessage, and the compatibility with Bluetooth hearing aids.
When it comes to iMessage, one Android user confessed: "I've recently considered switching back to Apple (never thought I'd say that) because of Android's lack of a solution to iMessage. While the rest of the world doesn't care, getting someone that uses iMessage to switch is a HUGE pain. Can't beat them, join them? I sent a video to a group text the other day and everyone said it looked like I was using a flip phone. It's 2019."