Verizon finally tells the truth about family phone plans and it isn't pretty

What does it take for a carrier to come clean about family phone plans? The Holidays, that's what.
Written by Chris Matyszczyk, Contributing Writer

And you want to share a phone plan with these people?

Screenshot by ZDNet

We want to believe in certain fundamentals, especially at this time of the year.

People are essentially good and kind. Generosity is a prime facet of a good human being. And families are truly beautiful.

This is constantly reinforced by brands offering ads that make us smile and weep.

Well, thank you, Verizon, for finally speaking a little truth to the power of Christmas delusion. Specifically, the joy of families and their plans.

Yes, Verizon sells family plans. Dig a little deeper, however, and you'll see it has a subversive arm that sells the truth.

Verizon-owned Visible Wireless knows that the last thing you really want is to be on a family plan. So here it is, using the Holidays to inject a little reality into your wine-mulled veins.

In an ad that borders on the truly splendid, Visible scoffs at the very idea of a family plan.

A young woman, clearly exasperated by the threat of what they call adulting, declares: "Wireless family plans save you money, but then you have to deal with family."

It's as if no one had ever considered that before. Getting financially entwined with your family can release many shades of hitherto concealed bile.

Chloe, our hero, turns up at a family Holiday event. Instantly, a sneering aunt -- likely an aunty-vaxer, to my eyes -- wonders whether Chloe is still single.

Who needs family when they're like this?

So Chloe has got some friends together to sign up for unlimited data without the desperate pains of a blood connection.

The concept is quite brilliant, of course. Save for one tiny snag -- How much can you trust your friends?

When you lived with them, they'd steal your milk from the fridge and think you never noticed. They used your bed when you were out of town or just sleeping elsewhere that night.

And when it came to sharing bills, did they all pay on time?

That's the problem with, well, humans. If you have to join with any of them to secure a better discount, you can't discount their essential selfishness, flakiness, variable scores on the trustmeter.

Still, I can't help being moved by this little oeuvre's content, timing, and courage.

Don't buy the family hype. Find a few friends you can really rely on.

Come to think of it, that's not a bad dollop of life advice, is it?

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