You miserable person, you. You've been using Zoom, Microsoft Teams or Google Meet. No wonder your work life has made you want to ululate to the rafters in anguish.
If only, if only you'd been using Webex you'd be gushing positivity of Scientological proportions.
But wait, you'll be wondering how Cisco justifies this. I confess I was. Well, the ad, which is constantly being promoted in my Twitter feed, begins: "When you're having one of those days where work just flows and you're energized by the outcome...."
We all have those days. How many have you had lately? Or have you been more energized by seven Red Bulls and a vodka chaser?
And then our warm, breathy voiceover really says the words: "THIS is when work becomes joy."
Surely she's kidding, I hear you hope. Surely she's not suggesting that just by being on Webex you'll experience raptures bordering on the unbecoming.
Well, here's her next line: "This is what happens on Webex."
What will they think when they hear Cisco telling them working from home would be a joy if only they'd used Webex?
And even those who have found working at home an unusually liberating experience, are they going to believe that all that stands between them and euphoria is Webex?
I'm sorry if I sound oddly intemperate, but please could you do some research for me? Please could you ask all your Webex-using friends and colleagues how many have experienced such uncontrolled rapture that their eyes bulge in wonder?
There does seem to be something peculiar going on in Webex's marketing department. Not so long ago, it emitted an ad that tried to make Webex seem sexy rather than, say, Webex.
In advertising, there's suspension of disbelief and then there's suspension of all your human and critical faculties.
I'm sure Webex has many aspects that are very useful. [Editor's note:Try Webex here to see for yourself if it delivers more joy than other popular conferencing platforms such as Blue Jeans, Teams and GoToMeeting.] I'm equally sure that using Webex does not suddenly transport you into paroxysms of celestial working-from-home uplift.