Crazy-expensive weird gifts you can find on Amazon if you're insane
More dollars than sense
Welcome to our gallery of extravagances and over-indulgence. We scoured Amazon's listings in search of the most expensive, most extravagant, and most over-the-top items available for purchase.
Do we recommend you buy any of these things? Oh, heck no. Just cataloging them had us throwing up a little in our mouths. But if you're flush with those cyber-currency bucks, feel free to spend them here.
Buyer beware
This gallery is meant for fun, although it's possible a reader or two with deep pockets might click through one of the affiliate links and make a purchase. If you're that reader, caveat emptor. I can't in good conscience publish this gallery without warning you that unknown vendors are asking insane amounts of money for items of uncertain pedigree.
The Internet is rife with ripoffs and scams and it's entirely possible that some unscrupulous scammer stole an image of something valuable, posted it on Amazon, and is waiting for some well-heeled victim to make a purchase. Be careful. We're not saying these are all scams. We're saying it's nutso money, so watch yourself, do your research, and be careful.
LEGO Vintage Airport Shuttle Monorail - $3,989
If you're nostalgic for the 90s and have a pile of cash burning a hole in your pocket, consider getting or gifting this kit from LEGO. The vendor says it's "Been aged over 20 years."
See it now: Amazon
Millennium Falcon LEGO kit - $3,002
Every gift guide should have a Millennium Falcon in it, but this one is certainly up there in price. It's a discontinued model, which in LEGO world, makes it a lot more expensive.
See it now: Amazon
Patek Philippe Grand Complications Mechanical - $269,950
This is a "renewed" watch, because, well, who could afford one new? Like a small puppy, it comes with a box and papers.
See it now: Amazon
Eric Clapton 2014 Fender Strat played at Royal Albert Hall - $170,186
At over $170,000, it's understandable why Eric Clapton's guitar gently weeps. This does not come with any authenticity verification, but the vendor claims it was photo matched to a 2014 concert.
See it now: Amazon
Controlled Atmosphere Glove Box - $51,939
If you have a budding Mythbuster on your gift list, you might want to give them this controlled atmosphere glove box. This is where all sorts of scary tests and experiments can be conducted in a controlled atmosphere. Does that make you nervous? Good, it should.
See it now: Amazon
Frank Chance autographed baseball - $331,421
Frank Chance was a Baseball Hall of Fame winner who played for the Chicago Cubs and the New York Yankees from 1898 through 1914. Here's a fun fact: the Cubbies were originally named the Orphans. Chance also served as manager of the Cubs, Yankees and Boston Red Sox. The vendor says this baseball is the only one on earth. It is verified by a bunch of initials, so there's that.
See it now: Amazon
Babe Ruth autographed baseball - $124,275
Perhaps the most famous vintage baseball player of all time was the Big Ban, the Colossus of Clout, the Behemoth of Bust, the Mammoth of Maul, the Wall of Wallop, the King of Swing, the Terrible TItan, George Herman "Babe" Ruth, Jr., himself. If you'd like to own a piece of certified baseball history, all you need is $124,275, or just about twice the price of the average home in South Bend, Ind.
See it now: Amazon
Christy Mathewson baseball card - $423,070
Baseball player Christy Mathewson played 17 seasons with the New York Giants, from July 17, 1900, to his last Major League Baseball appearance in 1916 (when he played his last season for the Cincinnati Reds). Matty, also known as the "Gentleman's Hurler" was one of the first five members voted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. If you want his verified baseball card, and you don't mind spending more than a very nice house in many states, then here you go.
See it now: Amazon
1802 Liberty Cap, Two-and-a-half dollar coin - $225,000
This is a very expensive coin, from the time when Thomas Jefferson served as President. Not much else is posted about this coin except for its brain-numbingly high price.
See it now: Amazon
Baileigh VM-1054-3 Vertical Milling Machine - $42,977
If you have a maker on your gift list with a workshop that has everything, consider this milling machine. A milling machine is used for precision metal-working, and if you're giftee is interested in robotics or Arduino, this is plainly overkill. But it's really sweet overkill!
See it now: Amazon
Island of Lost Souls Mint Lobby Card set - $250,000
Hey, if you have a quarter of million dollars, the folks selling this won't charge you shipping. At least it's something. The sellers claim no provenance. So, good luck!
See it now: Amazon
Beatles signed Help! Album - $196,368
The seller claims "Becket Authentication" and lists a bunch of other initials presumably to verify authenticity. If you're buying this as a gift, go through the authenticity verification process. Or, you know, save your money and get a Spotify subscription.
See it now: Amazon
Grateful Dead 1966 concert poster - $27,500
Gotta give the vendor credit. They've issued their own certificate of authenticity for what they say is a flawless original concert poster.
See it now: Amazon
Rachel Koen Ten Carat Engagement Ring - $750,000
If you really want to tell someone that you love them, consider this diamond engagement ring. Or don't and have enough money to pay for food and shelter for the rest of happily ever after. That's right. According to Open Source Ecology, it costs an average of $201,000 for a lifetime of food and $560,000 for a lifetime of shelter (unless, of course, you live in California).
Look, I'm not telling you not to spring for the bling if that'll help you land the love of your life. I'm just saying the two of you might have a pretty nice life for that money.
See it now: Amazon