Hell hath no fury like a chipmaker who's just been told by their long-time lover that they'd rather be alone.
And now his company is lobbing insults toward Apple in the very home of insults -- Twitter.
On Wednesday, Intel's own Twitter feed offered harsh words for Apple: "If you can power a rocket launch and launch Rocket League, you're not on a Mac. Go PC."
You may not even be on the right path to a balanced life, but these are powerful and insulting words. Go scientist-gamers, you can save the world.
This was a follow-up to last week's scoffing at Cupertino: "If you can flip through Photoshop thumbnails with your actual thumb, you're not on a Mac. Go PC."
To which Intel added: "Only a PC offers tablet mode, touch screen and stylus capabilities in a single device."
Oh, this is an ad for the Microsoft Surface?
Each of these ads links to a nine-minute video by YouTuber Jon Rettinger, in which, surprisingly, he expounds on the shortcomings of the M1 Mac, suggests Intel has a wonderful future, extols the Intel Evo branding and adores the Asus ZenBook Flip S.
Mocking a MacBook for only having a USB-C port seems a little myopic when the physical design of the M1 MacBook is identical to the MacBook that enjoyed Intel inside.
Oddly, Apple does still sell computers with Intel processors. And this campaign does feel a little like a weepy Brad tossing brickbats at Angelina.
Yet there's an urgent agenda here.
Of course, Gelsinger has to express confidence in his company after a painful blow. But, as much as anything, campaigns like this exist to bolster internal morale rather than to instantly incite some great migration of Apple users.
Some might wonder where was this aggressive Intel when Apple was making progress in creating its own innards.
But who cannot look forward to Intel's next Apple-bashing ad? It's a technique that always works, right?