It doesn't matter if you want a lower-end 13-inch MacBook Pro or a configured out-the-wazoo 15-inch beast. If you try ordering any MacBook Pro with the silly little Touch Bar, you're not going to see it for four to five weeks. At least, that's what the Apple online store is quoting when you place an order.
I found this out Friday, when I finally convinced myself to pull the trigger on a pretty well-equipped (and eye-wateringly expensive) 15-inch monstrosity. I'm going to be using this for the day job, specifically for a lot of high-end video work, so I signed up to lug around the extra pound, rather than go for the lighter 13-inch baby.
The astute among you may have done the days-between-dates math and figured out that four to five weeks from November 14 is not Christmas. But once I placed my order, I got an email message that informed me that I'll get my new Escape key-free machine between December 20th and December 26th.
That's because Apple's quote of "Ships 4-5 weeks" is not "arrives 4-5 weeks." The order page encourages optimism. But they're not accounting for travel time when they tell you how long it will take.
Oh, and if you happen to want to run an Ethernet cable to your nose-bleedingly expensive MacBook Pro that comes without any useful ports? That will take you until sometime in January. Apple apparently doesn't make its own USB-C to Ethernet adapter, because, you know, who needs actually solid data transfer rates?
Apple also apparently won't get any more specific than sometime between January 4 and January 26. Better hope your WiFi is solid.
There is a cloud in this slate gray lining, however. The three discounted $9 USB-C to USB adapters I ordered will arrive next week. Perhaps I'll build a shrine around them, in preparation for the arrival of the Touch Bar and its associated laptop.
Finally, for those of you who want a two-port, Touch Bar-less MacBook Pro, if you place your order now, you can have it as soon as FedEx or UPS can carry it to you. Those Apple has available.
See also: Why MacBook Pros don't need 32GB of RAM | Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro (2016) review: Touch Bar-free model offers impressive battery life and portability | Five reasons why Apple's new MacBook Pro makes me want to switch back to Windows | The MacBook Pro is not the root of all evil
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