No, Mr Filesharer, I expect you to die...

This is completely unchecked, pure rumour and no doubt made up. But it's too good to keep to myself.

Contacts within the Civil Service tell me that whenever the name of the Right Honourable Lord Mandelson, First Secretary of State, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation & Skills, Lord President of the Council, comes up during a meeting, everyone present mimes stroking a white Persian cat.

Whatever can this mean?