Transportation Dept thinks driving while blind-folded should be banned

What kind of an idiot do you have to be to text while driving?
Written by David Gewirtz, Senior Contributing Editor on

What kind of an idiot do you have to be to text while driving? For that matter, what kind of uber-idiot do you have to be to text while driving a truck or a bus?

I don't mean that rhetorically. There's got to be some brain damage going on.

Would you get behind the wheel, get your vehicle up to 55 miles an hour, and then let someone blind-fold you while your car blasted ahead for the length of a football field?

If you answered "Yes," then you're an idiot. And if you answered "Yes," then you probably text and drive.

According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, "drivers who send and receive text messages take their eyes off the road for an average of 4.6 seconds out of every 6 seconds while texting."

That's not just letting someone blind-fold you for a few seconds on a dare, that's letting someone blind-fold you for most of your trip, slamming your foot on the gas, and just taking a peek for a little over a second, every 22 car car lengths or so.

That's idiotic.

Under LaHood

What's even more idiotic is that the U.S. hasn't had a real law declaring this behavior illegal on our highways. There've been a couple of local laws, like the one in Washington, D.C. banning the practice (one of the few smart things to come out of D.C. in recent memory).

And last year, President Obama had to sign an Executive Order telling all federal employees that they couldn't text while using government vehicles.

The crazy thing is that the actual President of the actual United States had to sign an actual Executive Order to compel government workers to not be stupid.

Recognizing that driving while an idiot should be illegal, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood yesterday proposed banning interstate truckers and bus drivers from texting while driving.

Bizarrely, LaHood did not propose a ban on everyone texting while driving, just people who drove really big vehicles. 'Cause, like, some teenager texting at 80 miles an hour on Interstate 95 isn't a risk.

And lest you not think that the government practices April Fool's every day, the public can comment on this proposed rule until May 3.

Just in case, you know, there's a big army of protesters out there who want to see truckers careening down highways in their 18 wheelers at full speed, with their eyes closed.

Actually, that sounds kind of fun to watch. We could call it Eyes Closed Truckers. Maybe TLC will pick it up as another new TV series.

Editorial standards