Business

The fatal flaws in Samsung mocking Apple (yet again)

Not one new ad denigrating Apple, but three. Yet whom will these actually persuade?

Written by Chris Matyszczyk, Contributing Writer July 23, 2018 at 9:43 a.m. PT

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Samsung is so much better than Apple that it's not even funny.

At least, that's what Samsung often tells me in its ads, some of which are funnier than others.

For some reason, Samsung's summer is bathed in its insistence that Apple's geniuses are a touch numb in the brain and that the Samsung Galaxy S9 -- which appears to have a few sales problems -- is the finest phone in the world.

Samsung has just released three more ads that mock aspects of the iPhone X and, well, Apple in general.

This is in addition to the one it released last week.

He wears his heart on his shirt. (Samsung/YouTube screenshot: Chris Matyszczyk/ZDNet)

The new ones feature the same tall, ponytailed genius whose languid demeanor belies his deep faith in the Cupertino bible.

One ad mocks Apple's lack of a headphone jack and its predilection for dongles. This was generally a fine joke when the iPhone 7 emerged. These days, it's rather become, well, the way things are.

It's as if the (alleged) potential customer here has been cryogenically frozen by mean-spirited friends for some years.

Another ad features the greatness of the Galaxy S9's camera. Or, rather, doesn't. It actually features the alleged deficiencies of the iPhone X's camera.

Because the first thing Apple store customers ask about the X is: "Is it better than the Galaxy S9?"

If you ask that question, you likely already know the answer. Especially if you appear to have a peculiar familiarity with DxOMark scores.

Some will surely be amused by the Apple store employee pointing to the logo on his shirt as the one thing he believes in.

Who, though, will be persuaded by DxOmark scores? Who, in fact, will even care what they are? They sound like some very obscure nerdy thing for professional types, which, some would say, they are.

The final ad in this latest batch of bilious communication features a customer who wants Apple to have a fast charger, yet already knows that the Galaxy S9 has one.

She's holding the X box, as if she's still tempted despite this painful deficiency. Our genius naturally offers an Apple workaround that involves far more steps than your average human will want to have -- or even remember.

Somehow, though, Apple customers have become used to this sort of thing and just deal with it.

I can understand that Samsung doesn't have much (good) to say right now and, like any fine politician, it's denigrating the opposition.

Here, though, it doesn't even bother showing its own product, figuring that mere mockery of Apple will do the trick. This is in sharp contrast to times when mocking Apple has worked and Samsung had a fresh, competitive product.

Moreover, in setting so many ads in an Apple store, Samsung is pointing to one big weakness of its own offering.

Many people stick with Apple precisely because they believe that, if anything goes wrong, they have support nearby.

Apple stores have become a dominant pillar of Apple's brand, one that its rivals simply didn't appreciate or understand for far too long.

Go to any mall and see how the Apple store is constantly packed, while, say, the Microsoft store sits there like a forlorn beagle, begging to be loved.

As for Samsung stores, well, how many do you know? These customers have walked into an Apple store to ask for comparisons with the Galaxy S9 because there was no Samsung store to go to nearby.

Moreover, if they already know that the Galaxy S9 has the precise bell or whistle they desire, why did they go to the Apple store at all? Are they still intrigued by the X, despite everything?

Ultimately, I can't help thinking that these ads do no more than reassure Samsung's own customers that the brand is still around and they didn't make an entirely mistaken choice in choosing the S9.

Of course, it could be that Samsung also wants to warm the air for the arrival of the Galaxy Note 9.

But how exciting will that phone be?