The 9 ugliest gadgets ever made

This is to aesthetics what the police baton is to gastrointestinal surgery. My eyes hurt just writing about it.

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The Shaker family wants its salt dispenser back. It's like a student's submission to CostPlus. A law student's submission.

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Sir, that device stuck on your belt looks like an electronic name tag stuck on a dog's collar. It's like a piece fell off your answering machine and got stuck on your hip. Talking of which.

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Did they all have to resemble something put together from a kit? By a six-year-old.

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A large flying insect died on your ear, sir. It's entered rigor mortis. Have you no compassion? For those of us who have to look at it, that is.

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You never wondered why people sneered at you and threw bread rolls when you wore these? You think it was just because you were spying on them? No! It was because you looked so perfectly vacuous.

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Please don't even try explaining to me that this isn't a gadget. It's visually more putrid than Google Glass. Glassholes had an excuse. They were Glassholes. People with phone cases can do something about it.

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Glassholes withdrew from the world relatively quickly. The Rifters are still around. No, you're not Robocop. You're a halfwit with a box strapped to his head.

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And somewhere, the trash can cried: "AND YOU CALL ME UGLY?!" This looks like a trash can designed by someone who truly loathes trash cans. So, he didn't bother to leave it open at the top.

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